Fearless or Stupid

I love this song. I have been playing it on repeat. Ignore the video, but yea. Good song.

It was a good weekend minus the insane amount homework I had. At least I got it all done. On Saturday Carly, Ryan and I went to Estes Park. It was a fun day of cheesy gift shopping. We rode a tram thing up the mountain. The pictures are awesome. I'm lucky to have some great friends.

Rainy Day

-----: I KNOW that you understand
Me: Oh yes. 15 years later if I get a phone call I'd be thrown. He just didn't feel what I did.
----: I could sometimes say the same thing.
Me: Oh boys. When will they ever learn?
-----: When they are over 60?
Me: Touche.


I can't put into words what I am feeling right now. It's confusing. Life gets complicated doesn't it? It's constantly progressing and never boring. Life was boring in Ohio. I feel that's how I know I'm still supposed to be in Denver. When things stop maybe that's when I am supposed to leave. Maybe things won't stop.

It's been raining a lot here, well a lot in Denver standards. So once a week for about and hour. If it happens at work everyone stops to watch the rain (really, its that rare here). I reminds me of what my brother told me; "Denver is a desert pretending it's not, but it is still a desert". He's right. It's so dry here. Everyone has to wear lotion daily and use extra hair conditioner. Grass is not really green here. Humidity is only something we talk about from the past--everyone here is from all over the place.

I  walk more now that I moved further from work. I have been noticing all of the one way streets. It has been a long time since I noticed that, in fact I now find two way streets odd. Crazy, if you read my blogs from two years ago I hated one way streets. Life is different...I am different. Thank goodness.

messy in the middle

Things were weird this time last year. Weren't they? You were seeing someone, and I don't think I knew about it yet. I just know you weren't telling me things. It was off, and we were never off. I left early...I'm not sure you noticed.

I had a plan today, but I have decided against it. Mostly because you don't deserve it. I think about you from time to time. I hope life is good to you. May you get everything it is you think you want.

With that said, you're one year closer to being a good guy. I'm just not going to wait for it.

Most importantly, Happy Mothers Day to one of my favorite people.

Calm

I  hate when there is something I want to talk about but I can't because it's a conflict of interests.  It's not even a big deal. I just feel like I owe YOU an apology. Though, I'm not yours...so I could be with him? Right? Would you care?

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Maybe you read this. Maybe I said too much. I almost hope you do. It could starts a good conversation. 

It's amazing how detached I have become from people I used to think a lot about. I've just lost interest. I'm trying not to. Having interest keeps things....well, interesting. Going three days without returning a text is a dick move on my part. Please acknowledge I know that. I just forgot you had texted me. That says a lot doesn't it? Carly asked me why I do these things to myself. I laughed. Not everyone has been with their boyfriend for forever. For everyone else it's messy. Very very messy.

At 15 I thought I would have it all figured out by 24. At 25 I am FINALLY ok with having absolutely no idea what is going on. It is the first time in my life I'm not worried about whats going to happen. I have enough to deal with in the present.

For everyone else I apologize all the un-returned texts and phone calls. I've been distracted. Things have to calm down eventually.

May the 4th be with you

It was a productive weekend!

Friday...well that wasn't so production. I had to leave work early for the cable guy. It gave me time to finish the Sookie book. No, it was not very good. Kinda boring. She was just tying up random story lines. Later that evening Carly, Ryan, James and I went to Charlies for happy hour. Then we headed to Ryan's for movies and wine. I love wine :)

Saturday Ryan and I went furniture shopping aka I dragged him with me. I ended up with the yellow couch and loveseat that I adore. It took a long time to pick them (they don't have a chaise, which I did really want) and then I had to decide on a rug. Thankfully Ryan is a patient person. From there I rushed home and left for the Rockies game. It rained again! This is the second game I have been to this season and it's the second game that has been delayed due to rain. Urg. That's okay though Kirk, Ken, Jen and I still had a good time. Not going to lie though. It is a long walk back from the stadium to my new place.

Today I looked up recipes for my crock pot. Yup, I got a crock pot. I made a chicken taco chili the other day and it was delicious. Today I made ranch chicken and rice. I know right, me?! I have a great new kitchen and I have been cooking in it. It even has spices and lots of food that I can eat. My goal this week is to go an entire week without eating out a single time. I made it through Sunday...six more days to go. My rent is obviously more expensive so I think that may be a good way to cut back on my spending.

I also hung a lot of pictures and green curtains for my bedroom. I'm really starting to like green. My bedroom is green, purple and black. It works. My whole apartment is pretty much put together except for my dining room. That is where all the random crap is that I haven't found a place for. There is a lot I still want to get, but I need to take it one step at a time.

I didn't have class this week so I could get things organized. I start class again on Tuesday. Blah, I'm just so ready for the whole school experience to be over. Though, a small part of me is considering getting a Masters of Public Administration after I get my MAED.  I'll have to see though. Keeping my student loans deferred is a tempting idea.

I moved!

It's been a whirlwind of a week! I found an apartment and fell in love with it on Monday. Its hardwood floors and all around nice. It was easiest to move in by May 1st. So I packed up my studio and moved 6 blocks down the street...in 4 days. It was only possible because I have AWESOME friends. Seriously. They helped me pack and move. I cannot thank them enough.  Throughout that time I had to write a final paper. The good news is I love my apartment. Like 3x the size of my studio. It's a mess right now, but I'll get it all unpacked. I am slowly making progress. Key word is slowly. 

Other than that, work is good. Hermione is adjusting. I just discovered Samantha Who. It's such an adorable show.  Thank goodness for Netflix while I am waiting to have my cable back.

I'll update soon :)